Jeremy Crapsey

It’s been almost a week now since I was in hell, and I am already feeling my creativity rush back.  I never thought it was gone, but that it was suppressed and didn’t have enough time to develop into action.  It can be weird when you wish for something, once it finally comes true you will find out that it was the exact opposite of what you wanted.  This is something that I learned recently, I grew up thinking, “Wow! It would be so cool to get an office job as a developer.”  Well… I got my wish, and as time passed I felt myself become more and more unhappy, unmotivated, and most of all uncreative.  Ideas were shot down by picky clients knowing nothing about the industry, time was pressed for project completion, projects lined up one per hour, I was shut inside of a box in an attempt to improve efficiency,  free from all distractions!

I never thought it would be like this, no… I thought of a more positive setting where developers worked together to make a deadline for a project, where we had time to think and be creative about our projects and most of all, there were not any cubicles!  Now, being free from this nightmare, I have time to breathe, and with this time I am able to learn new things again, so that I might apply that knowledge and experience to what I love to do… That is to create!

Something tells me about this Tuesday, I have a feeling in my gut.
Wondering where I’ll be in a few years to come.

Something tells me about this Week, I have been thinking about it all this month.
Waiting for something to happen, a sign, some sort of guidance?

Something tells me about this month, I have been dreaming about it all this year.
Waking up wanting to sleep again.

Something tells me about this year, I have been working towards it all my life.
Working and working and working and working.

Someone told me to stop, tried to contain me, tried to guilt me.
Walked away and never looked back.